The Situation
Last week, my horrendous parking attempt triggered a vocal tirade. It happened in a perpendicular parking space on a wide, yet busy street. And because my mind wanders when I go on jogs, it dawned on me yesterday that my strength of Harmony was on display. Which then led me to realize that some parts of who I am as a person, are impossible to convey in a bullet on a resume or in an answer during an interview, concisely.
The Scoop
With my family in town because they were taking a cruise to Alaska, I took them to the Klondike Gold Rush National Historical Park in the Pioneer Square neighborhood of Seattle. This little-known spot has free entry and is a great way to connect Seattle to Skagway. (If you’ve not yet cruised to Alaska, be prepared for learning far more about a Gold Rush at the turn of the 20th century than you ever thought possible.) Parking is scarce in this area and it’s awkward near the King Street Train station, but there always seem to be street spots. This is where I found myself doing a sloppy parking job - in truth, because I overshot the spot when driving by and didn’t want to inconvenience others by then blocking the whole street to make it work - so I started a slow, gross shimmy that really was awful.
The eventual ‘tirader’ saw an opportunity and swiped the inside spot that would push me partially into a red curb zone. So I honked a couple times, the quick kind, not the obnoxious long ones. The ‘tirader’ kept parking. So I honked a few more times; I’m driving a Subaru - these horns aren’t threatening. The ‘tirader’ completed their parking and animatedly said “I see you, I see you” through both our already cracked windows. I don’t remember what I said - but I didn’t shout and I didn’t use profanity. In response, the ‘tirader’ turned it into a tirade including profanity with m-f’ing used and laid 100% of the blame on the whole situation on my inability to park (“If you knew how to m-f’ing park…”) I continued to try and make the outside parking spot work, but my angles really were crap.
By this point, a pedestrian had slowed to watch this altercation, attempting to speak to the ‘tirader’ on my behalf before realizing the ‘tirader’ was not able to listen to anything. At some point, I asked the ‘tirader’ “Are you done?” - and this likely triggered their final assault on my parking skills, I honestly don’t recall at this point. The entire time, my family observed what was happening, and seemed to take a cue from me and remained silent. Eventually, the ‘tirader’ walked away and the pedestrian let me know there was another spot just a few feet down the road. I thanked him and proceeded to quickly and efficiently park in the newer spot.
Ah ha!
In heated situations that are not life-threatening? I remain calm, neutral and non-argumentative. So think an angry co-worker, a stressful incident at 2AM or you just realized a deadline will be missed. My Harmony strength coupled with empathy - I’m able to wonder why is this individual reacting in this way? I am able to recognize that in order to make just a bit of progress in situations like this, calmer heads will prevail. And the pedestrian proved this - with an attempt to support and alternative solution.
What to Learn from this?
So what can we take away from this in the longer term? As a hiring manager, what kinds of questions are you using to get into the real, behavioral understanding of your candidates? What kind of role are you hiring for? Are you able to tease out the right anecdote to know how they might work within your team and the company? Can you imagine the mental energy it will take to work alongside this person? Work with your recruiter to build a list of questions you want to use that will allow the candidate to share their history - ensure they are not biased by reviewing with your DEI leader.
And what of a strength?
As you are well aware, we all are a smattering of strengths and weaknesses that make each one of us a great addition for some teams and not so much for other teams. Why is that? Because the teams may already have someone with just enough of a similar combination of what you bring to the table. But then again, how are you highlighting the additional uniqueness that you’ve not been able to articulate on your resume or in the interview. Do you have a couple of anecdotes already written in your folder of interview answers that are unique? If not, get those written and then review with a couple of friends or - you know, me, as a mentor on MentorCruise.
Do you know what your strengths are? Have you ever thought of capturing them to then be shared with your co-workers? I’d love to chat with you further about how I’ve used the idea of each person’s strengths in my orgs, to bring about an elevated feeling of teamwork and desire to achieve more than what anyone thought possible. I’m so tempted to blurt it all out here, but I’m realizing that part of my value as a leader and coach comes from interacting with someone in real time.
Want to know more?
Consider booking a single session with me to discuss any of the above or anything else. I’ve had countless direct reports tell me that they always look forward to 1:1’s with me because no matter how exhausted or difficult their work day/week/month has been - I have an uncanny ability to draw out their passion again. They leave our sessions energized, with so many new ideas and different ways of viewing their current situation that it brings them many days of amazing productivity. So please, let’s connect and help me help you.
As an aside...
Why the mention of non-life threatening?That’s likely a blog post for another day, but suffice it to say that in natural disasters or other events where people’s lives could be in danger? I’m sadly not the leader you want to follow.