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Don't Settle: 5 Traits to Avoid When Selecting a Mentor

When evaluating potential mentors, it’s important to look beyond surface-level success and assess specific traits that can make or break the mentoring relationship. Here are five red flags to be aware of when selecting a mentor:
Brad Rogers

Sr. Manager Supply Chain Strategy, Pepsico

Choosing the right mentor is crucial in shaping your career trajectory. A good mentor doesn’t just help you navigate challenges but also empowers you to unlock opportunities, refine your vision, and push your professional boundaries. However, selecting the wrong mentor can lead to stagnation and missed opportunities. When evaluating potential mentors, it’s important to look beyond surface-level success and assess specific traits that can make or break the mentoring relationship. Here are five red flags to be aware of when selecting a mentor:

They Lack Broad Cross-Functional Experience

A mentor’s breadth of experience is one of their most valuable assets. Success in one company, sector, or role is admirable, but it does not always translate into well-rounded advice. A mentor who has worked across various sectors, geographies, or organizational functions is likely to have a more diverse set of insights to share. They have experienced different types of challenges, managed different kinds of teams, and navigated various corporate cultures, making them more equipped to offer comprehensive guidance.

If your mentor has only worked in one environment, their ability to offer you broad career advice may be limited. While deep expertise in a particular field has its merits, a mentor who has seen different sides of the business world is more likely to give you the tools to adapt and succeed in various circumstances. This diversity in experience can help you identify opportunities you may not have considered and prepare you for unforeseen challenges.

They Aren’t Willing to Discuss Failures

Effective mentors know that discussing failure builds resilience and fosters learning. If they cannot candidly talk about the challenges they’ve faced and how they overcame—or failed to overcome—those obstacles, they’re offering you an incomplete version of the lessons they’ve learned. Avoid mentors who only offer vague, motivational advice like “work hard” or “network more.” These platitudes won’t give you actionable insights. A mentor’s value lies in their willingness to be transparent about the real struggles they’ve encountered and how those failures have shaped their approach.

They Aren’t Visionary Leaders

A great mentor doesn't just help you with short-term issues; they help you craft a long-term vision for your career. If they can’t articulate a clear vision for their own career or guide you in creating one for yourself, their advice will likely be limited. Mentors should not just focus on the day-to-day grind or immediate results. They should be able to zoom out and help you see the bigger picture—where you want to be in five or ten years, and how you can start moving in that direction today.

Visionary leaders understand the importance of strategic foresight and long-term planning. They are skilled at helping you define what success looks like and outlining the steps needed to achieve it. If your mentor is too focused on immediate tasks, performance metrics, or operational details, they might miss out on helping you shape a long-term career strategy. Mentors with a rigid, authoritarian style are often less adept at this kind of visionary guidance. You need someone who can help you think expansively about your potential, not just someone who will hold you to short-term goals.

Traits of a good Mentor

They Aren’t Open-Minded to Possibilities

One of the most important roles of a mentor is helping you explore possibilities you may not have seen or considered. A mentor who is too narrow in their thinking, or too tied to traditional career paths, may inadvertently limit your growth. The best mentors help you think outside the box. They encourage you to pursue unconventional paths when it makes sense and push you to see opportunities beyond your current field or comfort zone.

If a mentor is unwilling to introduce you to ideas outside of their own experience or insists on sticking to a rigid, linear career trajectory, they may not be the right fit. Mentorship should help expand your thinking, not limit it. You need a mentor who embraces change and new ideas, who is willing to entertain possibilities outside of the conventional wisdom in their industry. If they’re too stuck in their ways, they may end up guiding you down paths that are no longer relevant to the current job market or your specific goals.

They Don’t Champion Others

Success as an individual does not necessarily equate to success as a leader. When considering a mentor, many people make the mistake of focusing only on the mentor's career achievements or longevity in their industry. However, an often-overlooked aspect is whether they have helped others achieve success. It’s easy to find someone who has built an impressive career on their own, but mentoring requires a different set of skills—skills that involve elevating others.

A good mentor is not only accomplished but has a proven track record of helping those around them thrive. This could be reflected in the promotions, new roles, or skill enhancements of their direct reports, mentees, or colleagues. If they have not played a role in the growth and development of others, they may lack the necessary qualities to guide you effectively. Mentors should be able to lift others up, not just move forward on their own. Look for someone who has helped others advance, as this is often a sign of a mentor who will prioritize your development as well.

The Bottom Line: Don't Settle

Finding the right mentor is not easy, but it is one of the most valuable steps you can take for your career. The right mentor will challenge you, push you to grow, and help you avoid common pitfalls. By steering clear of mentors who exhibit the traits discussed above, you’re more likely to find someone who will offer the guidance you need to navigate your career successfully.

The mentor-mentee relationship is too important to approach lightly. Choosing the right person to guide you can make a meaningful difference in how quickly and effectively you achieve your goals. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t elevate those around them, lacks diverse experiences, shies away from discussing failures, focuses only on short-term results, or is too closed-minded to help you explore new opportunities. Instead, find someone who embodies growth, transparency, and vision—someone who will support you as you work to become the best version of yourself.

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