There’s something deeply powerful about the words people share when the subject isn’t around. It’s in these moments that the most genuine forms of appreciation surface. They are unguarded, honest, and often come from a place of sincere admiration or gratitude. As a leader, I’ve made it a habit to amplify these moments—to take the kind words spoken behind someone’s back and bring them to the forefront, allowing the person to hear how much they are valued.
How I Do It
This habit started from a simple observation. In my personal life, I noticed that when I smiled, it was often because of something meaningful—a beautiful moment, a kind gesture, or a memory that touched my heart. I began capturing these moments with a photograph, creating a visual diary of happiness and gratitude. This practice eventually found its way into my professional life, though in a slightly different form.
At work, when I catch myself smiling because of something a teammate has said about another, I don’t pull out a camera, but I do pull out a notepad. I take a moment to jot down what was said and who said it, along with who it was about. It’s important to be specific—capturing the exact words helps preserve the authenticity of the moment.
Once I’ve noted the feedback, I reach out to the person who offered the kind words. I ask for their permission to share the feedback with the person it was about. Without fail, I always receive an enthusiastic, “Yes, of course!” People are generally happy to know that their words of appreciation will be passed on, especially when they weren’t seeking recognition or expecting their words to travel back to the person they were speaking about.
Why This Creates a Great Environment for High Performers
There are several reasons why amplifying positive feedback contributes to a great environment, particularly for high performers.
First, the person giving the positive feedback is engaging in a practice of appreciation. In any environment, especially in high-stakes work environments, appreciation should be encouraged and amplified. It’s a muscle that, when exercised regularly, strengthens the overall culture. People start to look for the good in others, and this shifts the focus from criticism or competition to collaboration and celebration of each other's strengths.
Second, people feel good when they do kind things. It’s a simple but powerful truth. Knowing that their sincere, unprompted appreciation has reached the person it was intended for not only makes the giver feel good but also reinforces the behavior. They’re more likely to continue offering positive feedback in the future, knowing it has a real impact.
Third, the person receiving the acknowledgment gains invaluable awareness of their impact. Often, we are our own harshest critics. It’s hard to see the impact we’re making because we’re so deeply involved in our work. It’s like trying to read the label of a bottle from the inside—you can’t see the full picture. Many people don’t realize the positive effect they have on others until someone tells them. When they hear, “It’s not always like this—it’s like this because you’re here,” it can be a game-changer. It’s a moment of clarity that can boost their confidence and reinforce the value of the skills they’re practicing.
This habit doesn’t just strengthen individual relationships; it builds a stronger connection across the team. When people know they are appreciated and that their contributions are noticed, they’re more likely to feel connected to the group. They see that their work matters and that they are a valued part of the team.
Additional Notes
For me, these notes serve a dual purpose. Initially, they were just for myself—a way to remember the good moments, the reasons why I love where I work and the people I work with. They sit alongside my other notes on “things I learned from my teammates.” These notes became a personal archive of the positive interactions that make the workplace more than just a place to earn a paycheck.
As I moved further into leadership, I realized how valuable these notes could be for performance reviews. Often, performance reviews can feel like a box-ticking exercise, where the focus is on areas of improvement rather than celebrating what’s going well. By packaging these notes up for managers, I provided them with concrete examples of the positive impact their team members were making. It gave them a tool to deliver more balanced, constructive feedback, where appreciation is given as much weight as areas for development.
These individuals who positively impact the shared environment are invaluable to the organization. They are the ones who add to the culture, often without even realizing it. They’re so effective at it that people go out of their way to express their appreciation behind their backs. Unprompted. There’s immense value in this for organizations, and organizations that recognize and reward this behavior will find themselves with a more engaged, loyal, and high-performing workforce.
Call Out: Positive and Negative Feedback
It’s important to note that feedback isn’t always positive. Negative feedback is a necessary part of growth, but it must be handled very differently from positive feedback. Negative feedback requires a different approach—one that is precise, careful, and managed by trained leaders. It’s not something to be amplified with a megaphone; instead, it’s something to be addressed with the precision of a scalpel and the care of someone who understands the complexities of human interaction.
Negative feedback, when handled well, can be a catalyst for growth. It helps individuals understand where they can improve and provides them with the support they need to make those improvements. But this is a completely different process from amplifying positive feedback. It requires its own set of skills and should be approached with empathy and understanding. That, however, is a topic for another post.
In contrast, positivity can and should be shared openly and freely. It’s something that can be broadcast without fear of repercussion because the impact of positive feedback is universally beneficial. It builds people up, fosters a supportive environment, and creates a culture where appreciation is a regular part of the dialogue.
Conclusion: The Power of Amplifying Positive Feedback
Amplifying the good things people say behind each other’s backs is a simple but powerful habit. It’s a practice that fosters appreciation, strengthens connections, and creates a positive environment where high performers can thrive. By making a habit of capturing and sharing these moments of appreciation, we can build stronger, more connected teams and create workplaces where people feel valued and recognized for their contributions.
In the end, it’s about creating a culture where positivity is the norm, where people feel good about the work they do and the impact they have. It’s about amplifying the good and ensuring that everyone knows the value they bring to the table. And that, I believe, is a habit worth cultivating in any organization.