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The Unspoken Rules of Fundraising: Navigating Social Contracts

Understanding and navigating social contracts—unwritten rules of engagement—along with honing social skills, are crucial for founders seeking funding, as they significantly impact investor perceptions and relationship-building. These elements, encompassing cultural nuances, appropriate attire, authentic engagement, and follow-up strategies, can set founders apart and increase their chances of securing investment.
Daniel Idzkowski

Co-Founder/Managing Partner/Mentor, Lvlup Ventures/SKUNKLOCK Inc/Sidepocket Financial/American Pillar Partners/500 Global/Founder Institute

In the fast-paced world of startups, it’s easy to get caught up in the tangible aspects of raising capital: the pitch deck, the financial projections, the product demo. However, an often overlooked yet critical component is the concept of social contracts – the unwritten agreements and mutual understandings between founders and investors. Recently, I had the opportunity to delve into this crucial topic during a panel discussion. Let’s explore why these social contracts are so important and what they entail.

The Importance of Social Contracts

I’ve been in the startup world for a while, and one thing I’ve noticed is that many pre-seed and seed founders fail to secure funding, not because of their business ideas or execution, but because they don’t adhere to certain social standards. These social contracts are the unspoken rules that govern interactions between founders and investors. It's the culture derived from these interactions that often makes or breaks a deal.

It became frustrating and sad for me because there are incredibly talented founders out there doing amazing things, but they struggle because they don’t understand these social nuances. This realization turned into a personal passion for me, and I’m even writing a book on the subject. It’s a culmination of my experiences as a founder, an investor, and someone who has worked in investor relations, bridging the gap between both sides and helping companies raise capital.

So, what exactly is a social contract in the context of fundraising? It’s the unspoken rules of engagement between a founder and an investor. It includes how to follow up after a meeting, how to pitch, and even who pays for lunch. These are seemingly small details, but they play a significant role in how an investor perceives a founder.

For example, one common question is: who should follow up after a meeting? In my experience, it’s always better for the founder to follow up. It shows initiative and enthusiasm. Another question is: how do you pitch an investor? It’s not just about the content of your pitch but also how you present it. Are you confident? Are you passionate? Can you convey your vision in a compelling way?

At the pre-seed and seed stage, it’s not just about your idea or execution. It’s about you as a founder and your founding team. Investors are looking for charisma, leadership, and the ability to inspire others. They want to see if you can attract talented people to join your team and work towards building a unicorn company. Your behavior, your interactions, and your social skills are under the microscope.

In one of my recent experiences, I met a founder who had two people working for him solely for equity. These were individuals who could easily be making half a million dollars at Google, yet they chose to work with this founder because of his ability to inspire and lead. That, to me, is a huge green flag.

What is a Social Contract?

A social contract in fundraising is about understanding and adhering to the unspoken rules of engagement between a founder and an investor. These contracts are not written down, but they are understood and respected by both parties. They include norms around follow-ups, pitching, and even social etiquette during meetings.

Let’s break it down a bit. First, there’s the follow-up. After meeting with an investor, it’s crucial for the founder to follow up. This doesn’t mean sending a generic thank-you email. Instead, it’s about showing genuine appreciation for their time and interest, providing any additional information they might have requested, and reiterating your enthusiasm for potentially working together.

Next, let’s talk about pitching. Pitching is not just about presenting your business idea. It’s about telling your story in a way that captivates the investor. It’s about showing your passion, your vision, and your commitment. Investors want to see that you’re not just another entrepreneur with an idea, but someone who is genuinely dedicated to turning that idea into a successful business.

Another aspect of the social contract is the etiquette during meetings. Who pays for lunch? While it might seem trivial, it’s these small gestures that can leave a lasting impression. In many cultures, offering to pay for lunch or coffee is a sign of respect and appreciation. It shows that you value the investor’s time and are willing to make a small gesture of goodwill.

Cultural nuances play a big role here. For instance, if you’re meeting with an investor from a different cultural background, it’s important to understand their social norms. If you’re pitching to an investor from Korea and you’re significantly younger, it might be respectful not to drink alcohol in front of them. These are things you wouldn’t know unless you did your homework.

In Silicon Valley, there’s a distinct culture around attire. How you dress can influence an investor’s perception of you. My advice is to understand the person you want to raise capital from and dress one level above them. If they’re in shorts and a t-shirt, a polo might be a good choice. If they’re in a dress shirt, consider wearing a blazer. It’s about showing respect and attention to detail.

Understanding and adhering to these social contracts can significantly impact your success in fundraising. It’s not just what you agree on but how you agree that can make all the difference. So next time you’re preparing for a pitch, remember to pay attention to the social contracts and the subtle nuances of engagement. They might just be the key to unlocking your startup’s potential.

Cultural Nuances in Social Contracts

Navigating cultural nuances in social contracts is an intricate part of the fundraising journey. Silicon Valley, despite its unique culture, is a melting pot of diverse backgrounds. Every culture has its own norms, and what might be acceptable in one culture can be perceived differently in another. Understanding these cultural differences can make or break your interaction with an investor.

Let me share an example. Imagine you’re pitching to an investor from Korea. In Korean culture, showing respect to elders and those in higher positions is crucial. If you’re significantly younger than the investor, it’s respectful to avoid drinking alcohol in front of them. It’s a small gesture, but it demonstrates your awareness and respect for their cultural norms. Without this understanding, you might unintentionally offend the investor, even if your business idea is brilliant.

This doesn’t mean you need to become an expert in every culture, but it does mean you should do your homework. Before meeting with an investor from a different cultural background, take the time to learn about their customs and etiquette. This preparation can set you apart from other founders who might overlook these details.

Silicon Valley itself has its own subcultures. For instance, the attire of investors can vary widely. Some may show up in a Patagonia vest and jeans, while others might prefer a more formal dress code. My advice is to dress one level above the investor you’re meeting with. If they’re in casual attire, opt for smart casual. If they’re more formal, consider a blazer. It’s about showing respect and demonstrating that you’re serious about the meeting.

The Role of Social Skills

Social skills are paramount in the fundraising process. Your ability to read social cues, engage authentically, and demonstrate value beyond financial metrics can significantly influence an investor’s decision. It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it, and how you make the investor feel during the interaction.

Let me illustrate this with a personal anecdote. I once raised over $100,000 by gifting a rare cigar to an investor. This wasn’t a random act. I had done my research and found out that this investor had a particular fondness for that cigar. By presenting it to him, I showed that I valued his time and interest enough to make a thoughtful gesture. It wasn’t about the monetary value of the cigar, but the thought and effort behind it.

The biggest green flag for me as an investor is when I meet a founder who has managed to get talented people to work for them for equity alone. It shows their ability to inspire and lead. These are the qualities investors are looking for at the pre-seed and seed stages. Your social skills, your charisma, and your ability to build relationships are what set you apart.

Another key aspect is how you handle follow-ups. Always lead with value. After a meeting, don’t just send a thank-you email. Instead, provide additional insights, updates, or resources that might interest the investor. Show them that you’re proactive, thoughtful, and committed to building a relationship, not just securing a check.

Social skills also involve knowing when to pitch and when to build rapport. At networking events, for instance, don’t rush into your pitch. Start with small talk, find common ground, and build a connection. You can learn about the technical specifics of your company from your pitch deck, but what you can’t convey through a deck is your personality and your ability to lead and inspire.

Remember, fundraising is not just a transactional process. It’s about building long-term relationships. Investors are looking for founders they can trust, who can navigate challenges, and who can inspire others to join their vision. Your social skills play a critical role in demonstrating these qualities.

Understanding and navigating social contracts, along with honing your social skills, can significantly impact your success in fundraising. It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it, and how you engage with investors. By paying attention to these details, you can build stronger relationships and increase your chances of securing the funding you need to bring your vision to life.

Dressing the Part

First impressions matter, especially in the world of venture capital. How you present yourself can significantly influence an investor’s perception of you and your startup. In Silicon Valley, there’s a distinct culture around attire, and understanding this can help you navigate investor meetings more effectively.

One piece of advice I always give is to understand the person you want to raise capital from and dress one level above them. If your potential investor typically wears shorts and a t-shirt, consider wearing a polo shirt. If they lean towards business casual, you might opt for a blazer. The goal is to show respect and demonstrate that you’re serious about the meeting without appearing out of place.

Let me share a personal experience. During one of my early fundraising rounds, I was scheduled to meet with a prominent investor who was known for his casual style. Instead of matching his casual attire, I chose to wear a smart casual outfit – a polo shirt and chinos. This slight elevation in dress code communicated that I valued his time and the opportunity to present my startup, while still aligning with the laid-back Silicon Valley culture.

It’s also important to consider the broader context of the industry you’re in. For instance, if you’re in a highly creative industry, expressing your personality through your attire might be more acceptable. However, in more traditional sectors, maintaining a polished and professional appearance is crucial.

For female founders, the challenge can sometimes be more complex. The tech world has historically been male-dominated, and dressing appropriately while still expressing individuality can be a delicate balance. My advice here is similar: understand your audience and dress one level above. The key is to feel confident and comfortable, projecting an image that aligns with your professionalism and dedication.

Building and Repairing Relationships

In the dynamic landscape of startups, not every interaction will go perfectly. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you might make a mistake or leave a less-than-ideal first impression. The question then becomes: how do you repair and build upon these relationships?

Recovering from a misstep can be challenging, especially since many investors are indirect and might simply ghost you instead of providing feedback. However, there are strategies you can employ to rebuild these connections.

First and foremost, always lead with value. If you sense that an initial meeting didn’t go as planned, follow up with an email that not only thanks the investor for their time but also provides additional value. This could be new insights about your market, updates on your startup’s progress, or even sharing resources that might interest them. Show that you’re proactive, thoughtful, and committed to making the relationship work.

A personal anecdote comes to mind. I once had a meeting with an investor that I thought had gone exceptionally well. However, weeks passed without any follow-up from their side. Instead of letting the opportunity slip away, I sent a detailed follow-up email, sharing updates on our recent milestones and offering new insights into our strategic plans. This proactive approach reignited the investor’s interest, leading to further discussions and eventually securing the investment.

Another important aspect is to maintain authentic engagement. Investors appreciate founders who are genuine and transparent. If you made a mistake, acknowledge it and show how you’re addressing it. This level of honesty can go a long way in building trust.

Additionally, understand the cultural norms of the investor you’re dealing with. Different cultures have different ways of handling mistakes and follow-ups. Tailoring your approach to fit these norms can help smooth over any misunderstandings and demonstrate your cultural awareness.

Remember, fundraising is not just about securing a check; it’s about building long-term relationships. Investors want to see that you’re resilient, adaptable, and capable of navigating challenges. By showing that you can handle setbacks gracefully and maintain a positive, proactive attitude, you’ll leave a lasting impression that can benefit you in the long run.

While dressing appropriately and navigating social contracts are crucial, the ability to build and repair relationships is equally important. These skills demonstrate your maturity, professionalism, and readiness to lead a successful startup. By focusing on these aspects, you can increase your chances of securing funding and building strong, lasting relationships with investors.

The Role of Social Skills

Social skills are paramount in the fundraising process. Your ability to read social cues, engage authentically, and demonstrate value beyond financial metrics can significantly influence an investor’s decision. It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it, and how you make the investor feel during the interaction.

One of the most critical aspects of social skills is the ability to read social cues. Investors often communicate more through their body language and tone than through their words. Learning to pick up on these cues can give you invaluable insights into their thoughts and feelings about your pitch. For instance, if an investor seems distracted or uninterested, it might be a sign to pivot your approach or engage them with a compelling story.

Engaging authentically is another essential component. Investors can tell when you’re being genuine versus when you’re putting on a show. Authenticity builds trust and rapport, making it more likely for an investor to see you as a long-term partner. Share your passion, your struggles, and your vision honestly. This transparency can be incredibly compelling and set you apart from other founders.

Demonstrating value beyond financial metrics is crucial. Investors are not just looking for a good return on their investment; they are looking for founders who can lead, inspire, and build a sustainable business. Showcasing your leadership skills, your ability to build a strong team, and your strategic thinking can make a significant difference.

Building and Repairing Relationships

What if you make a mistake in your initial interaction? It can be challenging to recover, as many investors are indirect and might ghost you instead of providing feedback. However, always lead with value and maintain authentic engagement.

The biggest green flag for me as an investor is when I meet a founder who has managed to get talented people to work for them for equity alone. It shows their ability to inspire and lead. These are the qualities investors are looking for at the pre-seed and seed stages. Your social skills, your charisma, and your ability to build relationships are what set you apart.

Another key aspect is how you handle follow-ups. Always lead with value. After a meeting, don’t just send a thank-you email. Instead, provide additional insights, updates, or resources that might interest the investor. Show them that you’re proactive, thoughtful, and committed to building a relationship, not just securing a check.

Social skills also involve knowing when to pitch and when to build rapport. At networking events, for instance, don’t rush into your pitch. Start with small talk, find common ground, and build a connection. You can learn about the technical specifics of your company from your pitch deck, but what you can’t convey through a deck is your personality and your ability to lead and inspire.

Understanding and navigating social contracts, along with honing your social skills, can significantly impact your success in fundraising. It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it, and how you engage with investors. By paying attention to these details, you can build stronger relationships and increase your chances of securing the funding you need to bring your vision to life.

In the end, it’s not just what you agree on but how you agree that can make all the difference. So, next time you’re preparing for a pitch, remember to pay attention to the social contracts and the subtle nuances of engagement. They might just be the key to unlocking your startup’s potential.

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