Every Wednesday at 11 a.m., I’d join my 1:1 with my manager. Five minutes in, déjà vu. We were rehashing my Jira board. Status updates. Task lists. Org announcements already on Slack. All the stuff we both already knew. Meanwhile, the bigger conversations—about growth, impact, and unblocking work—never seemed to happen.

The problem is simple: too often, 1:1’s with your manager collapse into yet another status meeting. But status is already covered in standups, dashboards, tickets, or Slack threads. When this happens, both people walk away frustrated, feeling like the time wasn’t worth it.

This pattern tends to show up in cultures where:

• Managers aren’t given clear guidance on what “people management” really means.
• ICs haven’t gotten comfortable with the idea of managing up.

It makes sense: managers feel pressure to “know what’s going on,” and engineers don’t always show up with questions about growth or impact. But if both sides don’t reframe the purpose of a 1:1, it becomes a wasted slot on the calendar. And our time is too valuable for that.

One of my favorite managers ever set the tone in our very first 1:1. He told me two things:

1. This is your time.
2. If a recurring meeting isn’t useful, take 100% liberty in canceling it.

Radical, yes—and not always realistic in every company—but it made me rethink what “value” looks like in a meeting, and how I spend my time as an engineer.

So what does make a 1:1 valuable? For me, it comes down to four pillars.

1. Getting Unstuck on Projects

Your first priority in a 1:1 should be clearing blockers. It’s your safe space to flag issues early, brainstorm solutions, and ask for air cover.

This is the time to talk about:

• Which cross-functional partners you can lean on for knowledge.
• Who the subject matter experts are in your org.
• How to give feedback to a coworker who’s slowing things down.

I once worked on a large-scale migration project that involved three different teams. Every week we’d get blocked by a dependency, and it felt like progress kept stalling. My 1:1 became the place where I could escalate those issues without fear of sounding “negative.” My manager often didn’t have the answers himself, but he could unblock things by setting up the right meetings, or by nudging another manager to prioritize our work. Without that space, I might have spun my wheels for weeks.

Tip: Walk into your 1:1 with a list of “open loops”—things you’ve tried to push forward but can’t resolve alone. Even if you only clear one blocker each week, the compounding effect is huge.

2. Understanding Your Impact

If you don’t understand the impact of your work, you won’t be able to advocate for yourself at promotion time.

One of the best tools I’ve used is a simple brag doc with my org’s top goals at the top. Under each, I track my projects and how they connect. If a project doesn’t clearly map to a goal, that’s a sign I need to step back and ask why we’re doing it.

This doc also works best as a shared space with your manager. They can help connect the dots to broader org or company goals, and push you to tie your work to measurable impact—whether that’s revenue, new customer acquisition, cost savings, or latency improvements. If you don’t know where to find those numbers, strategizing together on how to measure them is an excellent use of 1:1 time.

A litmus test I like: could you summarize your impact to a VP in two sentences? If not, your 1:1 is the place to work with your manager until you can.

Tip: Don’t just track “what” you did; track “why it mattered.” Finishing a feature is nice. Improving conversion by 7% is powerful.

3. Career Growth & Promotion

Once you’re unblocked and clear on impact, it’s time to talk about leveling up. This is the conversation that often slips through the cracks because it feels awkward or “less urgent.” But it’s critical.

I like to set aside one 1:1 per month (or every other month) just for this. Promotion should never be a surprise—it should be something you and your manager are steadily building toward together.

To make this tangible, I keep a shared promo doc with the expectations for the next level written out. I map my current work against those expectations, which makes it obvious where the gaps are. Then, my manager and I strategize on how to fill them with the right projects or responsibilities.

One manager once told me, “Don’t wait until promo season to start your promo packet—write it as you go.” That advice changed the way I approached my growth. By continuously mapping my work to expectations, I could steer my projects more intentionally.

Tip: Treat your promo doc as a living document. Each time you close out a project, update it. This forces regular career conversations instead of a once-a-year scramble.

4. Strengths & Team Fit

Finally, 1:1’s are a great place to zoom out from projects and promotions, and reflect on your strengths.

Your manager can’t line you up for the right opportunities if they don’t know what kind of work lights you up. And strengths aren’t just what you’re good at—they’re what you enjoy most.

Ask yourself:

• When was I last happiest at work?
• What was I doing?
• Who was I working with?

Then ask your manager where they “see the light in you.” Tools like Gallup StrengthsFinder can also spark helpful conversations. Once you know your strengths, you’ll have clarity on how to contribute meaningfully to your current team—or spot when it’s time to move to one where your strengths align better.

I’ll never forget when a manager told me she noticed how much energy I brought to cross-team collaboration. Until then, I hadn’t thought of that as a “strength”—it just felt like part of the job. But once I saw it that way, I leaned into opportunities that played to it, like leading cross-functional initiatives. That insight only surfaced because of a 1:1 conversation.

Tip: Don’t wait for your manager to identify your strengths—bring your own reflections to the table. The more you shape the narrative, the more they’ll keep you in mind for the right work.

Bringing It All Together

Your 1:1 can be the most valuable recurring meeting on your calendar—if you make it so. It’s not your manager’s status meeting; it’s your dedicated time to get unstuck, connect your work to impact, grow your career, and clarify your strengths.

If you walk in without an agenda, your manager will fill the silence—and it’ll likely default to status updates. But if you walk in ready to steer the conversation toward what matters, you’ll leave each 1:1 with clarity and momentum.

The takeaway is simple: own your 1:1. Treat it as your meeting, not just your manager’s. Use it to work on the things that won’t show up on a Jira ticket but will determine your long-term success.

Status updates can wait for standup. Growth can’t.