In my career mentoring program, I guide professionals at different stages of their careers in technology. Some of them are making a transition from a non-technical role to a technical one, others are transitioning within technology, and others are trying to understand what happens when all they see is a fog after being laid off. Layoffs are devastating, both at an individual level and because they spark feelings of fear and skepticism. No matter how experienced or technically brilliant someone is, the anger and sadness hit hard. Everyone takes it personally. (If you haven’t, or know someone who hasn’t, I want to hear that story. Send me a message. I’d love to interview you or them.)
After the first questions (Why this? Why me? Why now?) settle down (because they will, trust me!), the real and important ones start to take place:
What should I do next? How do I start again? How can I support myself financially during this time? What could I have done differently to prevent this from happening?
In this article, I’ll walk you through these questions and offer guidance that I’ve shared with mentees, colleagues, friends, and family, who have faced layoffs. These insights helped them rebuild their confidence and develop and execute a strategic plan using the resources they had at the time. Please remember, feeling underappreciated after any type of rupture is a normal reaction. What’s not normal is allowing that feeling to drain your energy and leave you feeling stuck. You deserve to move forward, not just to survive, but to grow.
If you or someone you care about is going through something similar, feel free to share this article with them. I will include resources and links throughout the article for your reference.
Step 1. First of all, write your feelings down
Give yourself a moment to process what happened. It’s okay to feel upset, angry, or even relieved. This is a major life event, but it is not the end of the world. Take the time you need to reflect or journal your thoughts. A clear head will help you make better decisions moving forward. Just write your feelings down (regardless of whether you prefer pen and paper, the notes app on your phone, or the back of a napkin), e.g.:
"Today I was laid off, and it sucked. I know this has nothing to do with my worth as a person. I know this has nothing to do with my worth as a worker. I know I did my best, and I continue to do so. I acknowledge how I feel."
I recommend the book The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz.
I also advise against isolating yourself and recommend you talk to friends and family members you trust, the ones who will listen without judgment.
Step 2. The 90-Second rule
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroanatomist and author of "My Stroke of Insight," explains that when we experience an emotional trigger (such as anger, fear, or frustration), the chemical process that causes the physiological response in our body lasts approximately 90 seconds. After that, the emotion itself is no longer being actively triggered (unless we mentally replay the story or thought that caused it.)
"There’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop." - Dr. Taylor
Go ahead and feel your feelings fully without suppressing them. Allow the emotional wave to rise and fall naturally, and if that feeling lingers beyond 90 seconds, it’s often because you're mentally fueling it by replaying thoughts or stories that keep the emotion alive. I suggest that you practice awareness during that short window, and you'll be able to create the space to observe the emotion without being consumed by it, which helps you regain control and choose your response, rather than being reactive. Practicing awareness is crucial in situations like this, and I could go on and on about the benefits of meditation and my passion for it, but you'd be mad at me if I start babbling about it in a post-layoff guide, so I'd just leave an article here on its benefits in case you are curious (I hope you are!!!).
Step 3. Understand the details of your layoff
Before you walk out the door, get all the details:
- Severance package: What’s included? How long will it last?
- Final paycheck: When will you receive it, and what does it include (unused PTO, bonuses, etc.)?
- Benefits: How long will your health insurance continue? Are you eligible for COBRA or other plans? What about your vested stock options?
- Unemployment eligibility: Ask HR or check your local/state website on how to apply and what to expect. This process can take time, so don’t delay. Here is an example of the Unemployment eligibility website for the state of Massachusetts.
Request everything in writing so you have a record for later reference. Understanding and applying for your unemployment benefits will help with step 4.
Step 4. Update your finances
Let's address the elephant in the room. Not everyone has a cushion to handle a medium or long-term period of unemployment. I'm not a financial expert, and this is not financial advice. What I can share is what I personally did when I was planning to leave my corporate job. I tracked all my expenses, both fixed and variable, in a Google Sheets document. I reviewed which areas I could downgrade, what was essential, and how much more I could realistically save each month. This helped me build a larger cushion and extend my financial runway. If needed, consider talking to a financial advisor (make sure that they are AIF® financial advisors, who are trained in fiduciary responsibility, meaning: they will act in your best interests; and pay them hourly, not with a percentage of your investments). If you have student loans, look into deferring them.
Financial planning should be a continuous process, not something you only think about once you're already facing a financial hardship.
Step 5. Take time to reflect
Self-reflection is a practice I first learned while working in corporate, through coaching sessions with a career coach from BetterUp. Over time, I realized it's one of the most undervalued aspects of mentoring, and now I always make it a core part of my work with mentees.
The best mentors I’ve had didn’t give me all the answers, they asked the right questions.
Yes, a layoff is difficult, but it can also be an opportunity to reassess and take bold steps forward. Unemployment creates space for this kind of reflection. As a mentor, I begin by asking questions about current skills, personal and professional interests, and long-term goals. Our conversation helps uncover directions that align more closely with my mentee's values and aspirations. Sometimes, the path forward isn’t about finding the same role again, but about pivoting to something more fulfilling or aligned with emerging opportunities. I encourage my mentees to view this period as a launchpad for investing in learning, networking, and exploring options they may not have considered before. Using this time to upskill is also a great strategy, and there are plenty of free or affordable courses on platforms like Coursera, LinkedIn Learning, and Udemy. You can also look at organizations like Women in Cloud, which offer heavily discounted vouchers for tech certifications.
Step 6. Refresh your resume and LinkedIn profile
Once you’re ready to job search, polish your resume. Highlight accomplishments, not just responsibilities (I always recommend the free resume review from topresume.com.) Tailor your LinkedIn headline to reflect the kind of role you’re seeking, and don’t be afraid to post about your availability; many people find new opportunities through their network, which leads me to step 7. I don't, however, recommend including the "open to work" LinkedIn badge (you can still change your settings to "open to work", but you don't need to signal that on your profile photo.)
Step 7. Reach out to your network
Let former coworkers, managers, and mentors know you’re looking. People often want to help, they just need to know you’re in the market. Talk with others who have experienced a similar situation. Be clear about the types of roles you’re open to and what you bring to the table. This is also a great opportunity to join industry-specific Slack groups and attend relevant networking events. For more on this topic, read the article Job Seeking Resource List, which I wrote a while back on Medium (behind the paywall).
Remember: just don't try to do everything at once. Time management will be crucial during that time, which leads me to step 8.
Step 8. Continue to take care of your physical and mental health
Job searching can be draining. Make time for exercise, sleep, hobbies, and socializing. It’s not just good for your mental health, it’ll keep you energized and optimistic during the job search process. Shut down the guilty feeling of being out of the market. As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, don't isolate yourself; instead, talk with people who will understand and listen to you without judgment.
Step 9. Prepare for interviews
Once you land interviews, be ready to talk about your layoff honestly and positively. Something like: “Unfortunately, my role was impacted during a company-wide restructuring. I’m grateful for what I learned there, and I’m now looking forward to new challenges where I can contribute and grow.” Keep the focus on the future and what you bring to the table.
Step 10. Stop doubting yourself
The question: What could I have done differently to prevent this from happening?, is a tough one. It often leads us to question our abilities and skills, replaying our journey from the moment we joined the company, all the mistakes we made, and even the ones we only thought we made. My advice is: don't be too harsh on yourself. Companies have their own agendas, their own ways of operating, and, yes, they will continue to restructure and lay off employees. You cannot control when or how a layoff might affect you. What you can control is to focus on what's in front of you. In your next role, continue seeking feedback, strive to improve in areas where you see growth opportunities, look for mentorship, and expand your network.
To future-proof your career, stay curious, and keep learning.
Explore topics that genuinely interest you.
Let your curiosity guide you.
Build relationships.
Speak up.
You don't need to have all the answers; you just need to take one step at a time.
Mariana Carvalho is a writer and career mentor, Latino 30 Under 30 2022 by El Mundo Boston magazine, Mentor of the Year 2023 by WomenTech Network, and researcher, with over 12 years of professional experience, the last 7 in corporate America. Connect: Mentoring | Medium | LinkedIn | Instagram | Threads | Website